Friday, December 24, 2010

Winter Alcatraz - Flipper's story

Ride out in small boat hiding from fumes and spray. Bump bump bump. We are going fast. Good. Less chance to get cold.
Can't get tea open. Ask sandy for help. She is already seasick and waves me off. Ok then. No tea. Suck on luna moon. Dry mouth. Gonna be fun.
Alan standing surveying scene. Quiet. Serious. I look at him questioning. White caps he says. I don't get it. We arrive. 3 min to jump. Try to get clothes off. Boat pitching and rolling. How to get in. Wind pants too tight too hard in rocking boat. Note that for next time. Hurry don't be last. I am last.
Slide in sort off. Boat yaws on top of me. Push off. Swim or be swamped. Wetsuit pulls tight. Ignore it and swim. Get away from boat. Swim. Swim. Swim. Forget everything but that. Swim. Green water. Grey sky. Up. down. Water water everywhere. Water in your face. Water up your nose. Water down your throat. Alcatraz. Gotta love it.
Breathe right and breathe water. Pull. Pull. Breathe left. Only left. No glide. Breathe every stroke. Swim up suck in air before the wave. Wave hits. Ignore it. Focus.
Keep going. Sprint 50 yd. Repeat. Hit some sea weed. Hit some hair stuff. Icky icky. Please don't let it be a dead body.
Swim. Swim swim. Stop and take stock. And repeat. check boat. Check kayak. Wait for pod. No pod. Swim for alans kayak. Repeat above a ton of times. Apppach jeremiah obrien. Hit ebb. Swim 100 strokes hard. Rest. Hey its a sprint session. Aim at bay bridge to keep line on obrien. Repeat. Again and again. Obrien now a 45 degrees to dock. Ebb in full blast. Think. Stop and think. Will I be thwarted again. No answer. Humph. swim. Green water beautiful. Sky seems lighter. At Least no sun in eyes. Swim swim swim.
Get nudged toward ebb by something. Go vertical. Is it a shark. No can't be. Must be blasted seal. Where is that boat?
Oh look ferries are working. Wide around swim. Cool. I have the bay to myself. Incredible. Swim breathe left. Missing breakfast. Just keep going. Hey you are doing great. Riiiight. So near yet so far. Well I am not cold so I guess I will swim some more.
Hey the kayak is going to take you. Keep going. Legs cramping. Right shoulder finished. Need to breathe right. Not allowed by mother nature. Going going going. 50 yd sprints become 25 yds. Still not cold.
Miraculously hit opening. Kayaker hits me with paddle. Apologies. Sure. Can I make it in. Yes just swim I am told. Whatever.
Inside cove. Make for dc. Cannot hold line. Joke around with kayaker. Make for beach at top speed. Such as it is. Standing. Waves little ones. Whoop it up at beach. Kayak guy tells me it was the worst alcatraz he had piloted and that I did well. I am happy happy happy. Get out. Hands and feet frozen. Tourists gawk. Don't care. Consider going back in and swimming around boat launch to club. Bad idea. Not sure would make it. Hurry to dc on land. Not cold. Run into Leslie, get hug and kudos. Get member to let me in gate so don't traipse sand in club house. Grab some dude to get me out of wetsuit since hands don't work. Now cold.
Head upstairs to warmth. Please don't let me collapse on stairs especially after a wetsuit swim. Hit locker room. Grab shower stuff and suck down cliff shot in shower. See sandy. You are so covered in sand she says. She must have come in earlier. Nice job I think of her swim. I got hypothermic she says. Well go back in there I tell her about the sauna.
The end.
So there you go. Not a pool swim.

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